Just as our physical clothes tell stories (sometimes true, sometimes not) about us, so do our character clothes – our attitudes, our words and our actions. The good news is that, if the stories are negative – shameful, revolting, or unappealing – we can revamp our character wardrobes to tell a positive and inspiring story.
You might agree that the clothes we wear tell true or false stories about us. If we change certain pieces, we can change the stories. Our mindsets and our attitudes are the clothes our characters wear. They may tell admirable and inspiring stories. On the other hand, their stories may be unattractive and revolting. The thing with clothes and stories is that, if they only portray, attract and inspire negativity, we can change them to speak positive tales.
What kinds of reactions do your get from your character clothes? If they are negative – unwelcoming, dismissive and laced with scant courtesy, you may need to consider revamping you wardrobe.
Let us look at five pieces of character clothing to remove:
Negative emotions. When our emotions are rattled, we walk around with the noise in our heads and try as we might, we can’t function at our best. Unless we learn to understand and control our emotions, we can quite easily find ourselves being carried down river in a current of negativity. Eventually, our negative emotions become the power that drives our attitudes, our thoughts, our words and our actions and we are content to wear those clothes. Do you see yourself there?
Maybe unforgiveness, hate, bitterness and anger are the kind of negative emotions that immediately come to mind. Maybe they and others like them are a part of your character’s wardrobe.
In order for your life to manifest positive vibes, you must change the stories. To change the stories, you must change the clothes by dealing with the issues surrounding your negative emotions. Only then can you create space for positive emotions that tell stories of courage, deliverance and survival.
An “I don’t give a damn” attitude. Although you may not want other people’s opinions to dictate every aspect of your life, you still have to care. It is an admirable attitude to foster. It is human. It is compassionate. Moreover, it is part of being your brother’s keeper
The “I don’t give a damn” attitude is not a “pretty” outfit to wear. You do not have to say the words to convey their loud and clear message. People can usually see it in your eyes and read it in your body language.
Sometimes, people use this attitude as a safety mechanism. You may say that you don’t care or don’t give a damn in an effort to ward off disappointment, failure or heartbreak and safe-guard your feelings. Maybe you have already discovered that this garment cannot keep you safe from verbal attacks, ridicule or rejection. It does not make you impervious to disappointment, loneliness, pain or heartbreak.
Rather you set yourself up for many negative responses when you opt to wear this attitude. You lose friends, you leave people you live, work and play with puzzled, disappointed and hurt.
If you are only wearing this negative attitude as a cover for your true feelings, you are damaging your chances of relationships and opportunities you really want.
A Defeatist mindset. “I can never do this or that thing” is a common statement among people, whose ability and potential is obvious to those around them. Yet they wear this garment and slowly it whittles away at the esteem and respect other people have for them. Do you wear this garment, this mindset of defeat? Is it your favorite piece of clothing as you step back from making an attempt at some endeavor, even one that has minimum risk or no risk at all, even one that your heart is urging you to take?
Sometimes this mindset is born out of past disappointments that you have difficulty letting go. It can also be the result of groundless fears that you cannot articulate. In any case, walking around dressed in the garment of defeat deprives you of the joy of adventure and satisfaction of accomplishments.
Mediocre expectations. When you always reach for the prize on the lowest shelf or harbor dreams no further than the edge of your comfort zone, you are entertaining mediocre expectations and feeble dreams. You are broadcasting that you don’t want or deserve something more or something better. You are limiting yourself only to what is easy, ordinary and readily available.
Come on you have every right to lift your eyes higher, ignite the noblest hope and reach further in your personal life, your relationships and your work.
Indifference. I believe that indifference is the last state before we slip into complete hopelessness. These times of failing economy, rising crime statistics and other global tragedies, indifference and hopelessness seem to be walking hand in hand, leaving us spent and bewildered on the roadside.
I am discovering that I have to talk myself away from indifference more often these days. Being bombarded by all that is wrong in the world is at the heart of it but unless we remain hopeful, we will stop trying and doing our part. Unless we remain hopeful, we are doomed to languish in the abyss of despair
What about you, is indifference a garment that you wear?
Rummage through your character wardrobe. Cast away the unpleasant, annoying and inappropriate clothes. Revamp your character style with love, forgiveness, compassion, confidence and hope. It is just one more way to embrace and improve the present and approach the future.