Cultivate your life

I’m no gardener by any stretch of the imagination, but I am fascinated with the similarities between a garden and our lives. While we could put the smallest gardening effort on hold without any serious consequences, there’s no way we can put off taking care of our lives and not experience the backlash. So, like a conscientious gardener we need to cultivate our lives to reap the best fruits and enjoy the beauty.

Rainy days may keep you from heading outside with straw hat and gardening tools. But they are the perfect days to sit inside and do some work on your life. So grab your favourite drink and snack, curl up with your journaling tools and cultivate your life.

Weed

Sometimes it seems they pop up overnight. Unlike some plants that struggle to survive, lose the battle, shrivel and die, garden weeds are indomitable. They anchor themselves in any kind of soil and withstand extreme weather conditions.

Life weeds such as feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities at home and at work, financial problems, difficult relationships, health concerns and so on, rear their ugly heads and choke the good and positive things in our lives.

Some life weeds have tap roots; they burrow straight down and deep. They pierce and break our hearts. Others with fibrous roots fan out and filter through the network of our lives infecting and poisoning all that is good and positive.

They create havoc in every situation and relationship, turning our lives upside down and inside out. They loom above other minor life weeds and force us to set aside legitimate concerns so we can cater to their demands for our undivided attention.

Life weeds sprout and flourish anywhere. They cling to us like parasites. They suck us dry and leave us listless and passive in our own lives.

With a discerning eye and a prayerful heart identify the weeds that are flourishing, clogging your life pores, complicating your relationships and smothering your dreams. Don’t deal only with what is on the surface. Dig to the roots of the weeds in your life and get rid of them to allow the free entry and flow of all that is good and beautiful.

Water

We know of course that too much water can drown even moisture-loving plants. So we are often advised to water our gardens regularly with a moderate supply to keep the soil moist and the plants healthy and alive.

When we get lost in the rush of daily living, it is easy to allow our personal lives to languish in the neglect caused by whatever turmoil may be commanding our attention or the heat of busyness and burnout.

It is honourable that we take care of our responsibilities to our families, our jobs and other areas as well. However, when we don’t pay attention to our personal lives: health, leisure activities, our dreams and other personal interests, we are delinquent gardeners of the lives we’ve been given.

We water our lives when we take time to nurture ourselves with quiet time to pray, meditate, read, plan, dream and lose ourselves in the activities that we enjoy.

Are you drowning your life with too much of a good thing or killing your life slowly by leaving it to languish, dehydrated and starved of crucial life-saving nutrients?

Wait

A well-cultivated garden does not materialize overnight. It takes time so we must be patient. Once you have done your part you need to step back and wait for the seeds to germinate.

Are you anxiously pacing the floor in anticipation of some outcome? It won’t arrive any sooner because your heart beats faster, your palms sweat, you don’t sleep and can’t function normally.

Waiting is not as tough as we make it out to be. See the waiting period as an opportunity to prepare, to pray, to practice a little self-pampering, to revel in quality time with your loved ones, etc.

Wonder

When was the last time you basked in the wonder of your garden? Don’t say that you have only a small garden and a lone lime tree. Whatever stage your garden may be in today, take a moment to appreciate it, just as it is and wonder at its possibilities.

When last did you stand in wonder at your life? Of course these days, many would be quick to shout, “Wonder at what? Things are so bad I just want to crawl under a rock and not come out until 2020.”

Is there not one small aspect of your life that you can appreciate? Are there no blessings? Do you have no one who makes you happy, makes your heart sing, and makes your life better, brighter and worthwhile?

Have you been enjoying fruits of your labour? Did you talk to a friend, receive a smile or kind word from a co-worker, a fellow commuter or a stranger today? Did your children kiss you goodbye before they left for school? Those are things to wonder at, to appreciate.

Don’t take your life for granted. Don’t neglect it either. Luckily, you don’t have to wait for a sunny day to do some gardening in your own life. With the discerning eye of the careful gardener, rid your life of the weeds that are running rampant, water regularly with time for the things you enjoy and the people your love. Wait patiently for new growth of opportunities and wonder at the blessings that abound.

Be a diligent gardener and cultivate a purposeful, productive and happy life.

Ode to Solitude

What a commentary on civilization, when being alone is being suspect; when one has to apologize for it, make excuses, hide the fact that one practices it – like a secret vice. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh That quote summarizes my life to a large degree. After 52+ years, it still amazes me how people can still be puzzled, suspicious and critical of how comfortable I am with solitude. Call it what you may, but please, allow me my right to seek and enjoy the benefits of solitude. What are your thoughts on solitude? Does it convey negative visions of loneliness and isolation? That’s understandable. We are social beings and we derive a large portion of our happiness from our connections to and relationships with others. Plus we are accustomed to the constant physical and verbal activity that surrounds us. Still, the need for occasional periods of solitude is just as vital to our mental and emotional welfare. Let’s consider some of the areas in our lives where solitude can have a profound effect and bestow her priceless benefits. Solitude and spirituality. The Bible tells of leaders in the Old Testament, like Moses, who often pulled themselves away from their families and other companions to talk to and hear God. In the New Testament, it was Jesus’ habit to withdraw from the company of his disciples for private sessions with God the Father. Many people have testified that they felt God’s presence, heard his voice and sensed His guiding hand in their moments of solitude. Solitude draws us in and ushers us into the portal through which, we seek and commune with God, through prayer and meditation. Don’t you sometimes feel the need for this practice in your life? Don’t resist it. Solitude and creativity. Researchers, psychologist and persons of almost every creative persuasion, can attest to the benefits of solitude. Sometimes, in solitary moments inspired ideas surface to reveal how they can be merged with old, new or emerging skills. Or they appear as innovative sparks to prompt us to try something we have been avoiding. We can make use of solitude’s gentle probing to develop our creative inclinations or delve into a new adventure. Solitude and you. It’s where we can ask, “Who am I?” Can we really lie to ourselves about who we are? In solitude, there are no caves or walls to hide from ourselves. In our solitary moments, we can identify the person who lives in our skin and walks in our clothes. Solitude sequesters us from the pressures to conform and compromise. It helps us to understand who we are thus explaining the reasons and rational for our emotions, individual tendencies and preferences. It creates the atmosphere for heartfelt reflection, acceptance, forgiveness and the resolve to be true to ourselves. Solitude and rest. It’s wise and healthy to set aside our compulsion to get everything done at the expense of our sanity and our health. Stealing away for a few moments of solitude will restore our energy as we give our bodies the rest it deserves. Additionally, solitude will provide the much-needed break from the presence and chatter of others. When our pace slows or stops completely, solitude helps our minds to adopt the same pace and our mental functions improve. Overall, we will emerge from our time of solitude physically rested and mentally refreshed. Solitude and life. Solitude quiets the noise of our normal exist and allows us to hear our true thoughts, and feel our most intimate and genuine feelings. It opens our minds to find solutions to our life puzzles and to consider possibilities previously silenced by the humdrum and clatter of our normal routines. Solitude very often, holds in her hands, and in the folds of her cocooning garments, the inspiration for change in various areas of our lives. If we adopt the practice of regular periods of solitude, we will no doubt notice a slower, more thoughtful and positive response to the road bumps in our lives. All through history men have sought after and practiced seasons of solitude. And for just as long, others have ridiculed them for it. For that reason, quotes on solitude litter the literary world online and in print. I share some of my favourites below. * “The soul’s best friend.” ~ Charles Cotton * “Often the best society.” ~ William G. Benham * “We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts, we get under no other condition.”~ Amelia E. Barr * “We live in a very tense society. We are pulled apart… and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together…. I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude.” ~ Helen Hayes * “It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.” ~ K.T. Jong * “We visit others as a matter of social obligation. How long has it been since we have visited with ourselves?” ~ Morris Adler * “Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.” ~ Marcus Aurelius * “When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death – ourselves.” ~Eda LeShan