Despite my belief and insistence that we can and should rise above our fears, I don’t advocate a reckless approach to doing so. Instead, I believe that we should tackle our fears with the kind of careful thought that goes into understanding and accomplishing any other project.
Our fears hold us captive and inhibits our ability to transition from the negativity of the past to the joyful appreciation of the present and then to entertain realistic expectations for the future. To combat that, we should face our fears head on, do battle with them if we must, salvage whatever positive value we can and get on with the business of living a meaningful and productive life. But when fear continues to stand as a seemingly impenetrable wall, keeping us stuck in an “I can’t” cycle, we have to find new ways of breaking through and moving ahead. In our zeal to rid our lives of our fears, we must be careful to not “throw the baby out with the bath water.”
If you agree that fear is our enemy, would you also agree that even an enemy can be useful?
Here is how:
Fear establishes our weaknesses.
We are no good to ourselves and our dreams if we don’t recognize and acknowledge our weaknesses. For, it is there, sitting in the company of our actual or perceived inadequacies, past failures and other life experiences that we can grapple with our weaknesses.
Walk through your fears. Trace where they began and how they have progressed and intensified. Pinpoint the areas in your life where they have wreaked the most havoc and crippled your development. That is where you will find your weakness.
Let’s say, for instance, your fear of exams have kept you away from further study, taking specialized classes to satisfy an interest in a hobby or a small business idea. Where did that fear originate? Could it be from failure or only mediocre scores in previous exams? Maybe your fear stems from an inability to fill out application forms, comprehend exam questions or an inability to read at a certain level? Reading and comprehension might be your weakness. But that is not the end of the story; it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to settle for a life of dreaming about goals that never see the light of day because you are fearful.
Use your weakness as a springboard to plan an escape route and launch an attempt to take at least one small definitive action that will help you extricate yourself from the strangle hold your fear has on you.
Let your fears serve as a springboard from which to launch out on a new adventure or re-launch an old attempt.
Fear enhances our strengths.
It may sound like a cliché, but it is true; trials build character and make us strong. The problem is that instead of acting on our strengths we surrender to our fears and allow them to control and dictate our lives.
You probably think that your life or one aspect of your life, like your education, your career or relationship has been ruined by some past experience. And you live in fear that a similar situation waits around the corner. So you remain cloistered in your self-imposed cocooned, never venturing beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone.
Have you ever stopped to consider that you have survived and may even triumphed over the experiences that brought you to this point? What strengths did you discover dormant within you? What character traits were you forced to develop in order to deal with the situation, maintain your sanity, and carry on with your life?
Fear elevates our potential.
Being fearful doesn’t mean that we don’t think about goals we’d like to accomplish or dreams we’d love to pursue and achieve. Ideas, goals and dreams run parallel to our fears. On one hand, we lament the fact that we are afraid to take a chance, step out of our safe places and take risks, even small ones. Then on the other hand, deep in our hearts there is the longing for the mildest courage to step out from behind our fears and forge forward with confidence.
Dare to look beyond fear’s deceptive whisper, “You can’t.” What do you want – education, mortgage, job, travel, marriage and family? The longer you sit with your fears, the more impossible your dreams seem, but that doesn’t alter your potential to achieve them.
So when fear says, “No, you can’t,” look beyond its limiting borders and declare that you will try; you will give it your best shot.
Fear equips us with tools to move forward.
Every task or project requires tools for it to be accomplished efficiently and successfully. These are just three of the tools that fear provides.
(1) * Insight to understand problems from the inside out as opposed to dealing with semantics, feelings or personalities.
(2) * Perspective to see the whole picture and not just the individual aspects of difficult situations.
(3) * A voice to defend ourselves and our dreams when confronted by human or situational obstacles.
Don’t underestimate fear. It is a formidable enemy able to defeat our best intentions and thwart our most inspired and determined efforts. But when you launch an expedition to excavate its usefulness, you can walk away with life-altering tools, aware of your weaknesses, confident in your strengths and excited to explore your potential.
What useful purpose do your fears serve?
